I know it’s coming down to the wire. I had one of my anxiety-attacks last night, where my body shuts down and I puke all night because even if my mind is in the right place (God has a plan for us!) my stomach gets tied up in knots and my body doesn’t know how to react. As I stumble into the office, Gatorade and Dr.Pepper in hand, I check our bank account and watch the mortgage, car payments, bills, … ya know, first of the month things … withdraw from our account, I’m reminded of how God has provided for us over the past two plus years of marriage.
I suppose it’s impolite to address money in a super public setting such as this, but it’s what makes the world the go round. It’s what we give in exchange for the best training in the DFW area. It’s what we give in exchange for a last minute flight to [name random town in the US that has a minor league team and you have to make 3 connections to get to your final destination] because we want to be together, even if only for a couple days. Not only that, but it’s what’s given to us in exchange for hard work and dedication. Over the past few years, more money has left our accounts than come in, or though it seems. The ultimate dream is to make enough to be able to spend as much time together as we want.
More than money, we have been chasing a dream for as long as I've known Logan. More specifically, I’ve been watching my dream chase his dream. Over the next four [4!!] days we will be finding out if this will come true and if he will make the BREAK CAMP with the Orioles and have a spot on their ‘Opening Day Roster’ -- making step one of the big league dream come true: Making his Major League Debut!!
While there’s still four days left before the roster is set, I have a gut feeling (maybe because my gut freaked out on me last night) that today is the day. This blog post is simply to remind myself of the wonderful ride we’ve had being mostly on the ‘UP side’ of this roller coaster of a career. Logan has moved smoothly through his professional career, being promoted each season to the next step, and having this incredible opportunity to remain in the MLB thanks to the Rule 5 Draft.
I mentioned to him last week that this is the best time. Ever. After this decision takes place over the next few days, the disappointment becomes greater. He will have reached his initial dream of playing in the big leagues and a new dream will need to be established. We will be sent up and down, back and forth, team to team. At this exact moment, I’m encouraging us to both honor, enjoy, and LIVE in the space between the ‘NO LONGER’ and the ‘NOT YET.’
I hope we all learn to live in between those moments and in the present, as each moment is a gift from God and how wasteful to spoil those in between’s with worthless worry.